I did Movember once in the past and it was pretty awful, and I don’t mean that in a good way. Mustaches just do not work for me. But it’s still a cause close to my heart because both of my grandfathers suffered from prostate cancer, and they were both very instrumental in me pursuing writing as a young man.

So, this year, I’m handing all of you off to other people in hopes that you will send them some precious pecuniary presents.

If you need someone to donate to this year, might I humbly suggest Mr. Simon Barnes? He is the husband of my friend and fellow writer, Kathy Benjamin, plus he’s a British gent, and so he can grow fine European facial hair. Just look at this:

That is after a mere ten days, my friends. Truly, this is a mustache worth throwing your dollars at.

Speaking of dollars, Dollar Shave Club apparently notices when a blog with the word “shit” in its title has posted about Movember in the past, because they asked me (and probably a whole lot of other people, I don’t think I’m special or anything) to share a promotion they’re running throughout the month of November. For every new subscriber, they’re donating $10 to the Movember Foundation. Apparently their razors are quite fancy. I use an electric razor (because I am lame), so I’m not sure, but they get good reviews and they sure know how to advertise.

Okay, back to doing… whatever it is I do here. Stay beastly, chickadees. (Is that a good sign off? I can’t tell.)